Living or Leaving Abroad?

Living or Leaving Abroad…

You have been there, done that but now it is time to return home or decide whether you want to return home. It is the time of eternal confusion; dilemma and often the feelings and mood swing wildly from one spectrum to another for many of us. Many of the surgeons who have done their fellowship will find this very familiar and they will know that there is no right and wrong …It is the perception and happiness that counts and happiness as they say is our own creation.

So what is it that draws us abroad and want to stay there forever? Life style for one is surely the number one reason, While in India you work 24 * 7 even most Sundays, struggle to have the basic amenities – 24*7 electricity, uninterrupted clean water, a decent traffic and commute to work and respect of the community not by virtue of being a doctor but a rightful citizen. Most developed countries offer all this and more, which translates into efficient working and more of me and my family time..

Most people also believe that the future for their kids is brighter abroad as they are likely to have access to greater opportunities both in term of studies and also sports.  Another reason that draws them to lure of staying abroad is lack of initial start up opportunities In India. This fear of unknown factor where in they know that once they are back, despite all the qualifications and skill sets, they are probably as good as any fresh pass outs puts many off. And the fact that 50 or odd emails that they have sent to various hospitals across the country reinforces there view point that no one wants talented hardworking people, which in part is true and is also reflected in day to day life. Having lived across the world, one thing that I believe is almost as good and perhaps better than most places in the world is our advertising industry. It is not without reason that we create the best adds, and our advt rate for prime slots are among the highest in world. We Indians tend to be swayed more by marketing and hear say than our own judgment, for us quality  comes a distant second to wow factor which in this case being treated by the most famous doctor in the town.

And finally Money, someone in past had rightly said that they are only two truly international things money and love. And yes money does make world go round. In the initial stage of career, when your contemporaries form the different fields are busy settling down to stable incomes, bigger cars and beautiful house, you are still struggling to make ends meet, live in a room and if married in a one room set in the most obnoxious areas, giving exam’s ( and failing many times). SO when you get a chance to have a decent respectable score or salary, you want to cling on to it and thus it is no wonder that most people start thinking of returning only when they feel they have a reserve that can help them cope up for a year or two back home.

So what is it then that make people think of coming back.. As I said there are only two truly international things money and love.. So yes when you start thinking you can earn more in India and you start yearning for love and feeling that you get more love back home, you think of returning.  Despite the new friends that you have made, new favorite haunts that you have discovered, you still crave for your old friends and family, your mind drifts to places that gave you the kick and solace, you want to be at a place where you could be yourself.

You also realize that professionally although it is not easy to settle in India, yet it is the place that recognizes all your qualifications and gives you a freedom to practice wherever you want and to the full extent that your qualification allows. There is no giving exams, waiting for the results and job interviews, and choosing the areas of shortages.

Also you wonder what will happen when your kids grow up, will they still be attached to you are you will be empty nesters.. grey nomads devoid of the happiness that family and grand children provide ( a very far fetched thought but does cross the minds). You start to question whether bigger houses, big gardens, better cars, newer gadgets translate into more love, more satisfaction, more happiness..

And finally there are days you feel that you cannot realize your complete potentials and that you cannot draw complete strength and you tend to settle for the easier and comfortable ways of life by choosing to live abroad.

SO while there is no right or wrong, I often remember one of the statements from the novel ”name sake” ( not sure) where in the authors says that every blade of grass draws its strength form where it was originally rooted and if you pluck it up and replant it to another soil, grow it will but not with that strength and will that it once it had.. Metaphorically correct form most of us, who are probably like blades of grass, but equally untrue for some plants  Like Banana tree that must be transplanted for it to grow into tree) and some amongst  us who would flourish only when transplanted in another soil.

Gen V K Singh of Medical Profession?

General V K Singh of the medical profession?

The other day I was discussing Gen V K Singh episode in a plush Café coffee day corner of a a plush Corporate hospital in New Delhi and the discussion veered on whether Gen V K Singh was right or wrong in bringing this issue up  and If that only brought to fore his incapability and incompetency to handle the issue. If he as the chief of army staff could do nothing about it, then what can be expected of the rest of the country?

The group consisted of orthopedic surgeons at different stages of their career: from DNB trainees, Senior registrar, associate & junior consultant to the chief of the department of orthopedics. The discussion went on animatedly until this chief of the department suddenly declared or rather confessed that he is the equivalent of Gen V K Singh for orthopedics and thus can understand General’s perspective very well.

For a moment everyone felt silent, not fully grasping the import of his words.  Here was a guy 70 year plus ex Head of department of the one of the most prestigious medical college of the country and now heading the department of the most famous corporate setup in the capital of the country confessing to what many in the group considered incapability and to some extent cowardice. He went on, “I have been Gen V K Singh on the numerous occasions in past and perhaps even worse”.

In times where sporting ‘I am ANNA’ was the latest fashion statement, calling himself Gen V K Singh stumped most. He went on to clarify ‘ I was the head of department and there were numerous occasion when my friends and closest colleagues tried to lure me into the things that most would be call a bribe and I could do nothing but politely refuse. I could not dare, dare would be rather harsh, it was just that I could not bring myself to act on the issue. I do not know if it was cowardice or just plain incapability. Here I was the most powerful man in the department and on occasions acting Dean of the college, but at the same time completely incapable of doing something about issues that I knew were wrong and responsible for the rot’

‘Arguments and ingenuity of bribing continued to flummox me.  It ranged from arguments ranging from we are not doing anything wrong, we continue to practice the way we work, write the same drugs, use the same implants and if in turn someone wants to reward us for the same thing, there is nothing wrong with it. And the lure was in every sphere from drugs to implants, from MRI to general purchases and surprisingly the offer would always come from someone who was close to me and I usually thought as my close confidante, someone whom I trusted and someone who knew my style and ethics.’ Whether I was right or wrong in not reporting it, I could never come to self-conclusion until this day when I could call my behavior neither right nor wrong but ‘Gen V K Singh’ behavior. Unlike the time of Mahabharata when Arjuna had Lord Krishna to direct him in such situations, I and Gen V K Singh had no one. Despite knowing that by not taking an action on the matter we were also subjugating justice, we chose the relatively easy way out at the time, bringing it up passively in front of superior knowing fully aware that we have at least fulfilled part of our responsibility yet not being courageous enough to use of our intelligence and position to ensure that corrupt suffer.’

These words from Horse’s mouth made all of us view the matter in an entirely different light. I realized that it is unfortunate that today in India majority of us are either corrupt or are Gen V K Singh and that only a minority of us are Anna and that reflects in things as they stand today. For the country to change not only should corrupt convert and change, but also Gen V K Singh and likes have to change as well so that we ensure that change can be heralded if not by change of heart, by the force of Law.